It’s 6:09 AM on a Saturday morning, and I’ve been up for the past hour and a half. I’ll be 36 weeks pregnant tomorrow and am measuring at about 38 weeks. What does that communicate? Restless nights. Disturbed sleep. Weird body aches. Nervous thoughts. Awkward mood swings.
I still am in awe of this journey, although I’ve gone to the hospital about four times for different reasons. Maybe that’s the norm, perhaps not. It’s still part of this beautiful chapter.
Things are about to get real now. I mean, they’ve been that way but when I think of the fact that life as I know it will never be the same again, it’s a lot to take in. Yet, I’m glad about it. In fact, I’m absolutely ecstatic. So is my husband. It’s not been a comfortable experience at all with so many other life changes so we both are having to trust God in a way that we’ve never really had to before, not as adults anyway.
This certainly takes “adulting” to another level. A little over two years ago, I hung up my title of being a single woman to becoming married. That was a huge jump in itself! I was on pins and needles, yet fearless if that makes any sense. I didn’t have the butterflies that folks say one will get—I guess it was because I had a knowing that I was entering a covenant with God and a man who loves me like Christ loves the Church. The “pins and needles” were because I was face to face with reality. I was embarking upon a life that would never be the way it was ever again. I’d no longer be just my daddy’s little girl but someone’s wife.
Fast forward to the present…Once again I’m preparing for a major life change that I have never known. No longer will it just be the feeling of “being pregnant,” but I’m about to embark upon being someone’s mama! Wow! I’m in awe and completely blessed that God would trust my husband and me to be parents of our own children. I’m amazed by all of it. Yet, thoughts run wild with things like,
- Will we be good enough parents?
- Will we have everything we need by the time he arrives?
- Will my son and I make it through childbirth?
And then I hear that still, small Voice say, My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.
A word that we all know but don’t exercise that well. So many things are beyond our control. Instead of rying o maintain a God-complex, we should choose to enter into His rest. He said in His Word to trust in Him with all of our hearts and quit leaning to our own understanding. There are many things we can’t and won’t figure out on our own because He didn’t design us to be independent of Him. Real relationships with the Lord requires absolute dependence upon Him. Faith won’t make sense—and that’s okay—because our humanistic approach to sense, reason, and logic pales immensely when stacked up against God’s foolishness, if it were possible for Him even to have that.
If we say we are members of the Body of Christ, we have to abide in His rest. We must choose to embrace each day as it comes while expecting to see God’s goodness in the land of the living. We have to make up in our minds what that beautiful Psalms verse says:
This is the day the LORD has made; I WILL rejoice and be glad in THIS DAY.
(My paraphrase, emphasis added)
With that beautiful reminder, I choose to close this post and rest. No matter what, God has us, and we can trust Him to be faithful to see us through whatever it is we’re facing.
Wedding photos courtesy of Burgeon Empowerment and Photography ©2014. All rights reserved.
All other images courtesy of Falando Jones Photography ©2016. All rights reserved.