You wanted to know from my perspective what was going on within me on that day some call accursed while others bless. Well, here you are.
The deafening shouts troubled the deepest part of me. I couldn’t understand for the life of me why these same people were willing to kill the one they were literally just praising. I mean, it’s a pretty big deal to worship a guy, saying, “Hosanna! Behold the Lamb of God!” At least, I think that’s what they said.
I hadn’t met the guy personally at the time but I know he wasn’t guilty. His eyes. I’m still shaken because when I looked into them, it was as if everything about me, every secret, and even things I didn’t know was shown to me—but that’s not all. I saw my future outside of God and then I saw Love fight for me. I can’t describe it but it was holy. Pure holiness.
I have no other explanation as to why they singled me out except that the Lord knew what I’d need. It was still during Passover so my boys and I hadn’t yet returned home. We were going downtown when we heard the ruckus. The vehement death chants were sickening and my boys were afraid.
“You with the boys, come here!”
I knew they were talking to me but the terror I felt almost paralyzed me. As one of the soldiers approached me, I hurried my boys to stay with one of the few who had compassion on the man and quickly went with the guard.
When I realized what they wanted me to do, I felt humiliated! I had nothing to do with this guy yet they singled me out to carry his cross.
Carry His cross.
That’s when it all changed for me. Looking into His eyes up close, it was then that I knew. This Man was no mere man. His eyes told me the story of God’s love, His perfect plan of redemption. His eyes told me that He not only had love but He is love. And it was His love for me that gave Him the strength to die on what He created, at the hands of His most precious creation.
When I hoisted His cross on my shoulder, it was like I heard Him say within my heart, “Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me…” Tears flowed endlessly down my cheeks because I realized the soldiers didn’t choose me but God did. He appointed me to serve Jesus Christ, His only begotten Son, to go to the place that was equally despairing and hopeful. No one’s opinions mattered anymore, not even my own, because He chose to endure more than I could ever bear because of unconditional love. Despite our sins, we were the joy set before Him.
I didn’t know what would come next but my life forever changed the moment I carried my Lord’s burden.
Simon, the Cyrene