Life has a funny way of sending us on trips we never planned to take, but thank God we find our way back home. Returning home is an awakening that leads me to say, “To God be the glory!” Let me give you the backstory.
Superheros are mortal, after all.
In 2021, my world stopped when my daddy suddenly lost mobility. The culprit turned out to be more severe—a very rare tumor located inside his spinal cord. Boy, did he fight valiantly! There were so many instances where we saw the hand of God perform miracles for him. Daddy was still witnessing and sharing the love of Jesus with the medical staff and us. Yet, the answered prayer for his healing came in an unwanted way. He moved to heaven on December 30, 2021.
As the youngest of three—although we are all grown with our own families—many relatives were concerned about how I would process watching my first earthly superhero take his last breath. All I can say is God’s grace is truly amazing. Something else was at work as I lived in the depths of grief and mourning. Growth. I know it most likely doesn’t make any sense, but we all had to learn how to embrace God as our Father in a way we’ve never known. The Lord consistently defends and cares for my mother as a husband would (look at these verses for reference).
Growing in grace
This year, while on this growth track, I challenged myself with creative writing, even when I had no inspiration or drive. It was challenging and proved to highlight significant inconsistencies within me. Holy Spirit has shown (and still is) me His heart and desire for me to keep living and going. My faith was under fire along with friendships, and I realized it had everything to do with choices. Would I choose to go through my process in Jesus, or would I throw in the towel? Do I honestly trust the Lord like I have always said, or was my strength small?
While on the altar of healing and restoration, I saw myself unfiltered and unrehearsed. I didn’t like what I saw, but there was hope. I knew that God could transform me. And He did. And still is doing so.
I took a pregnancy test on Mother’s Day and discovered we were expecting our third baby! I was like, “God, You do give beauty for ashes!” When it was time to find out what we were having, we learned we’ll welcome another prince, due on December 30, 2022. Did you catch that date? Earlier in the year, with the help of Holy Spirit, I resolved to quit relating every 30th date to my daddy’s transition. Look what the Lord has done! He redeemed even that date. Although it’ll permanently mark daddy’s final day on earth, we will always celebrate new life—my son’s birth.
Grace upon grace.
It feels unfortunate when we navigate the rough terrain of unwanted journeys, but in the midst of it, we can see the hand of God if we choose. My heart was broken and shattered, but Holy Spirit led me back home to His heart.
I don’t know your story and what twists and turns you’ve faced, but I want you to know that you can come home, too.