A Quiet Return: Growth & Grace in the Stillness
Hey, girl, hey!
It’s been a while.
Life required me to live more than I wrote.
This past year, the Lord has refined, stretched, and taught me deeply—lessons that I couldn't rush through. Embracing clarity, conviction, and purpose, I am now ready to share.
Maybe you’ve felt the same stillness or discomfort. Maybe you’ve felt unseen, as well. I understand and see you.
If you’re still here, thank you.
Where I’ve Been
Last year marked my 40th birthday, and while it was monumental, the sudden emotional, physical, and spiritual shifts overwhelmed me. I almost spiraled; however, I chose to sit with it instead. I had to confront the lurking fears and unattended spaces. This process required a necessary dying to myself and selfish ways so I could truly come alive. When I could barely speak physically, I realized the Father wanted to refine my spiritual voice as well so that my words would be shaped by willing obedience to Him, not just because I thought I had something to say.
What I’m Learning in the Stillness
Some seasons are for living, not sharing.
As I faced those challenges over the past year, I felt stripped. No one’s empathy could make me better, nor could their ignorance make me worse. I knew the Father never sickens His children, but, honestly, that time felt like an exception. Now, I realize that He allowed it because He wastes nothing, and I also needed to learn the importance of saying yes to Him and of willing obedience. Even if I wanted to show up and blog or vlog about what I was going through, it was too sacred a thing to share publicly. I didn’t understand then what I do now.
“Lean not to my own understanding” wasn’t a good suggestion, but God’s protection while in refinement.
Growth doesn’t always look like movement.
I thought I was failing my family while recovering since I had to show up differently for them, but little by little, the Architect of my heart chipped away at my vices and issues, healing me from the inside out. Healing didn't come wrapped in luxurious linen and satin ribbons. Instead, God carefully poured it into a rough burlap sack. At first, healing looked ugly and messy, leaving me feeling stuck—yet God was still working behind the scenes, making me pure and helping me move forward, even when I couldn’t sense His presence.
Learning to Honor Where I Am
Where am I right now? I’m in the present with you, drinking my water in real time, with life still happening—and it’s so much more beautiful than where I was. Still, that previous season was necessary. After all, the Bible says, “It was good for me that I was afflicted,” because without that season, I couldn't enjoy or notice the beauty of right now. As my voice is still in recovery and other things are still progressing, I am in awe of God’s faithfulness. He has me exactly where He needs and wants me—sitting in my seat as His precious daughter.
Returning Here
For me, blogging isn’t just a creative outlet; it’s another way to express the Gospel through this ministry of words. While healing, I had to pause blogging and book writing, and I didn’t know when or how I’d return. The Lord’s timing is perfect. Now I'm here in willing obedience for the sake of His call on my life. And, I won't bind myself to algorithms for visibility or anything like that (they're not bad, but not my focus). I will not promise daily posts, but you’ll see consistency.
You also won’t find perfection here—Christ has delivered me from that—but you will see Christ’s love at work and freedom from performance. I don’t have all the answers, but He does, and I trust that what I share here will meet His approval.
If you’ve been through a season like this, love, I understand. God sees us even when our hormones and emotions, etc., suggest otherwise. There’s a whole community of women who can relate to where you are, not to make you feel less, but to remind you of the truth. You are not alone. You are enough. You can start over and reset right where you are.
Feel free to share this with someone who needs it. Comment below what resonated with you the most and why.
